Why does my computer shout at me?

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I second Leo. I would add I would take a look at the programs that startup with the computer. Assuming xp, click on Start --> run and type msconfig in the text box. Click on the startup tab. Google everything there to see what they do. That which cannot be found is it.

Then I would not remove it. I would try to figure out who did it to you. Then I would record his name and replace the sound file. Then I would invite him over. Then.....

If Leo's and the first poster's idea does not work, I suggest searching all hard drives for any file with a "wav" extension. To do this, click "start", then "search". Type this in the search box (XP) "*.wav" Then, when windows asks what do you want to search for, click "all files and folders".

Next, click the down arrow next to "more advanced options". Make sure that the first three items are checked ("search system folders", search hidden files and folders", and "search subfolders"

Then click "search". When windows is finished searching, look through the list of files and for any file names that look suspicious (such as those that are not a word, or have your name in them), double click to listen to it. Repeat until the offending sound is located. Then delete it.

Reminds of the time I just about gave a college intern candidate a heart attack. I gave her a programming challenge to work on, then left the office to let her focus. When I returned to the office a few minutes later, she was as white as a sheet. When I queried her what the problem was, she responded, "Your computer keeps screaming at me." I forgot that I'd put a different sound scheme on my computer that morning as a joke and that each piece of e-mail was triggering a WAV of Sam Kinnison... almost made her cry... I *did* feel badly!

Reminds me of an old school trick I pulled in high school before networks were widespread. In keyboarding class, PC's were sitting back to back in rows. It was always fun to unplug the person's keyboard across from you, and plug yours into their computer. Then type things like "hello there, (person's name)". Good way to freak people out. :)

On this one specifically, there are now much easier ways to accomplish the same thing and much more, all from across the Internet. Most likely it's somebody the person knows messing with them. Probably by changing something locally on the system.

The second possibility is the machine has been compromised ("hacked") by someone who likes to mess with people. It would be easy for a script kiddie who has control of your machine to figure out your name, and then have your computer loudly play a sound of your name whenever he desired. It's literally as simple as clicking a button with some of the hacking tool kits available.

This precisely describes the type of person who would do this remotely just for the heck of it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Script_kiddie

Well, this is probably NOT the case as it's way too easy a solution. But I'll mention it myself since nobody has yet. It was fairly widespread, albeit quite sometime ago... there was a rash of emails going around (can also easily be done with a 3.5 floppy or any other media) that could be labled anything at all. Once opened seemed like a normal mssg, but in reality injected a small hidden .exe file in your comp somewhere (I never knew where) that didn't show up as a virus in a scan, & all it did was begin a series of random noises at random times just as you described. The types & frequency of the sounds could be set by the person configuring it (mine had belches & farts). It was obviously meant as a joke as it wouldn't cause any real problems other than to drive one crazy. The solution to shutting if off? Make sure all windows are closed so your pointer is on your desktop, move it to the upper left corner of your screen on nothing but the desktop & click there (this could also be randomly set but most I saw were in the top left)... a small control box would appear & you could manipulate it there. As I said, this probably isn't your solution, but this had to be said, & one never knows... Ockham's (or Occum's, whichever) razor may yet prevail.

Why do I shout at my computer? Despite knowing that it is a mere artifice of human (dis)ingenuity, I frequently find myself red-faced, on my feet, waving my fist at the computer, and shouting something along the lines of "What the hell are you playing at? I didn't tell you to do that! I didn't!! Don't you get smug with me you little jot of plastic, or I'll throw you out the window!!! Right, that's it!!!!!! You'll be sorry now!!!!!!!!!!! (sound of window breaking and concerned colleague calling security). Please tell me which part of my FAT table I have to re-format to prevent these obviously malicious-hacker-inspired outbreaks.

Google computer pranks, many many sites out there
where you can prank friends even just with an email.

MY HUBBY HAS THE PROBLEM OF A RACE CAR AND SOMETIMES A HORN BLOWING AT HIM. HE WILL HAVE HIS MESSENGER OPEN AND YAHOO OPEN TO READ EMAIL WHEN THIS HAPPENS. AND HAVE BEEN MEANING TO ASK YOU WHAT IT IS AND HOW TO GET RID OF IT. IT WILL SCARE THE HECK OUT OF ME WHILE I AM ON MY PUTER BESIDE HIS AND ESPECIALLY IF HIS VOLUME IS UP AND HE IS OUT IN THE OTHER ROOM. HE DOES GET INTO NASCAR, AND WAS WONDERING IF IT HAS TO DO WITH THAT OR IS A X FRIEND TRYING TO TORMENT HIM. THANKS.

lol... It's so easy to do stuff like this.. If you notice, most people use there login name for there windows account. It wouldn't be too much of a challenge to read the name from the registry and have one of the windows artificial voices, read it out loud at a given interval..

I've seen people also bind audio to keyboard keys, so when they press, say the letter 'd', it makes a "mooooo" sound.. Check your running processes using ctrl+alt+delete (task manager). If something looks fishy and is NOT under System, end task it and see if it helps. From that point, you can go about removing the file/directory from at least the booting process or your hard drive.

Sysinternals autoruns...

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