Can my spouse really read my IM conversations?

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Summary: It's possible for someone on your local network to monitor and perhaps even log internet traffic. That could easily include your IM conversations.

My husband says he can download a program to his machine that will enable him to read my MSN Messenger conversations. I use a separate laptop with the log history turned off, but he says he can put something onto the router that will record all the conversations, and email. Is this true, and if so, how can I stop it, or prevent him from reading my messages?

I have to admit that it's actually somewhat depressing how often I get questions of this nature; spouses wanting to snoop on each other, or like this one, spouses afraid of being snooped on. All technical issues aside, I find it rather sad.

The short answer is: yes.

The longer answer involves both how, as well as some steps you can take to avoid it.

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I think that everyone really needs to realize that whomever sets up your network and provides your access to the internet can do pretty much anything they want. I spoke to this in some detail in an earlier article Can my ISP monitor my internet usage?.

Just consider whoever set up your internet access at home as an extension of your ISP.

A great example is my own. As you might imagine I have a bit of a home network that's used by my wife, my assistant, and even any visitors if they happen to bring along a computer. In a very real sense I'm their internet service provider; they're connecting to my network. As a result, should I feel so inclined, I have access to all the networking and other equipment here in my home to do whatever I might want.

I could snoop on anyone connected to my network if I were so inclined.

The same or something similar is probably true in your own home.

But it gets worse.

We've often talked about software that can be used in wireless hotspots to snoop on people's internet traffic and potentially steal passwords or other sensitive information.

That same technique works quite well on many wired networks as well. That means that anyone with access to your home network could conceivably snoop in on your conversations or worse.

Needless to say, that probably includes your spouse.

So what's a person to do?

Well, the ultimate answer is that if you can't trust your spouse or whomever it is that is providing your internet connection then you shouldn't use it. Period. That's really the only truly guaranteed way of protecting your information.

If that's not in the cards, then partial solutions are similar to those mentioned in the ISP article:

• Secure connections - any connection that begins with https instead of http is an encrypted connection. Your spouse can see which sites you are visiting, but not the actual data being sent back and forth.

• Anonymous Web Surfing - Your spouse can tell if you're using services like Anonymizer, Tor or others, but that's all; he or she won't be able to tell where you're surfing, or what's being said or displayed.

• Encrypted Email - there are several ways to send encrypted email. Your spouse will be able to see who you're emailing, but won't be able to read the messages.

• VPN Services - There are services available that will allow you to set up a "Virtual Private Network" connection to their services which then connect you to the internet. Once again, it's obvious that you're using the service, but your spouse can't see what it is your doing beyond that.

So it really all boils down to your level of concern compared with the amount of effort you're willing to put into it.

Unlike the ISP scenario, where I don't believe there's typically a credible threat, based on the questions I get I can totally understand that this situation is quite possible.

And, as I said to start, quite sad.

Related:

• Ask Leo! - Can my ISP monitor my internet usage?

• Ask Leo! - Can I be certain that my message history isn't being saved somewhere?

• Ask Leo! - Can my company monitor my IM conversations at home?

Article 11593 | Posted June 12, 2007